How Now Brown Cow

Helloooooo....

You know I'm back when I need to vent hahaha! I was seriously not thinking of coming back here anymore since I like to keep things to myself now, you know with Twitter and all (not that I have any) I feel like everyone has become some kind of attention seeker. And I just don't want to be known as one of em. That's just me labeling people. Gah!

But, since I have a few spare time now, I might just share something with you guys. It has been almost 3 years working at the same place now, I've gotten used to the system, BUT I ain't liking it. I had a friend who rebelled so much that she was not wanted anymore. She was fired and had to pay back the company for breaching the contract,  but she's happy now doing her own things, stuff she loves. I envy her. I wish I had the guts do the same but I have so many things to consider if I wanna take the same route.

I'm pretty much comfortable at where I am and really blessed with the kinda stuff that I do. I love HALF of my job. The other HALF that I don't like is pretty much there, the same ol same ol things, you know, the SYSTEM. Sometimes it's not so clear as to what my job spec is. I'm doing various things just to get things done without really having time to do what I love the most, that is being creative. There is so much bureaucracy around me it's just doesn't make sense!

I miss my old workplace where I'm constantly on my feet being creative, being given the facilities to just deliver the best, and having strong support from my boss and my team mates. Despite having fewer free time and little pay I was not stressed out at all! I would come home feeling satisfied and tired.

As compared to now, having all these work benefits everywhere, less tired, much higher pay, I still feel like there's nowhere to go from here. I can't really be myself (heck I can't even dress like myself) what more doing things I'm passionate about. There is always a wall in front of me which makes me just want to give up! I can't move forward, everything seems too impossible. What more with the backstabbing, corruption, power abusing people, etc, there no point in working hard. But because I want to have a halal salary, I give my best all the time. But doing it all alone without the support of everyone else is just demotivating. It's just the system that makes everyone to end up like this. The SYSTEM needs to change!